Saturday, July 16, 2016

Iman Kita Naik dan Turun

Lets talk about iman. Baca tajuk pun dah seram. Aku yg tulis ni rasa tak layak pun nak cakap pasal ni. Mohon kalau ada kesilapan dalam tulisan aku ni, sila lah pm tepi betulkan. Maklum kita ni manusia jahil dahagakan ilmu, teguran dan nasihat.

Malu sebenarnya bila orang ingat kau baik tapi sebenarnya kau biasa-biasa saja. Bila orang ingat kau dah berubah tapi sebenarnya kau still sama macam dulu. Berubah sikit je lah, dari macam agas jadi la manusia berupa ada otak sikit. Lol

Iman ni sifat dia naik dan turun. Kadang-kadang kau tengok orang pakai tudung labuh, kau pun try sebulan dua. Next time jumpa, eh eh tersingkat balik tudung. Kadang-kadang kau rasa nak pakai stokin, kau pakai. Pastu dah sebulan dua, dok lah madang nak cepat je tertinggal semua stokin handsock bagai. Kau tengok orang tu pakai jubah macam cun je, ok lah kau pulak try. Tapi ada lah sekali dua, hari lain kau bantai baju singkat dengan jeans takpun baju traditional yg pesen2 nampak body shape. Ah sudahh ke laut.


Tu baru pakaian, belom laman sosial lagi. Dulu kau nekad dah toksah la nak selfie-selfie sampai nampak lobang idung sangat. Tak elok Ustaz Azhar Idrus kata, nanti bebila orang boleh edit adobe segala. Tapi sekarang scroll sikit instagram kau, amik koo most of them gamba selfie. Kau tengok model ni  pakai brand ni, pesen ni lalu kau pun dok la tiru. Biar tak outdated katanya.

Jujur aku cakap aku kagum tengok orang yg boleh maintain je jaga pakai, akhlak dan etika dia kat laman sosial. Kuatnya semangat dan hati depa tu fuh cuma Allah je tahu. Betul la orang cakap kita ni kalau sorang-sorang memang tak kuat. Kena ada kawan ramai-ramai yg boleh pimpin bawak sekali pi syurga.


Contohnya, geng usrah. Ko rasa kalau ko dah dok dalam bulatan tu dengar tazkirah, kisah2 nabi, taaruf dengan akak adik yg soleh solehah dan tadarus semua, tak tenang hati kau? Memang tak. Kau akan jadi lagi semangat. Lagi kuat. Rasa macam ada bahu tempat kau bersandar melepaskan rindu pada Tuhan. Tenang. Tu yang kita cari sebenarnya. Sebab tu lah kenapa bila jauh sikit je dari Tuhan macam tinggal solat, riak dengan dunia, kedekut nak bagi fakir miskin sikit pun susahhhh mesti ada je huru-hara sikit kat daily life kau. Dengan bangun lambat hari-hari, duit tak cukup, nak buat tu ini semua tak sempat. Mungkin betul lah aku pernah baca tu, "kalau kita rasa hidup tak tenang, hubungan dengan manusia pun bersepah, cuba check balik hubungan dengan Allah". InsyaAllah semoga kita semua layak jadi ahli syurga. Hmm sobs.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

wallahualam

They say I should take an art or sastera. I say "it just a hobby". But deep down in my heart I say, "you're right. But its okayyyy..hmmm''.


I bet i'm not the only one on earth who thinks "what the heck I'm doing on this so wrong track?". But then back to basic. Allah has a better plan for us. Redho. Its not easy but keep trying.


#keepcalmandredho #wallahualam


Wednesday, March 16, 2016

self-timing

here I am at the library
already 7.00 pm
no not alone.
surrounded by a lot of books.
and a few stranger.

a lot of story but no sound.
behind those books.
as same as some people.
who prefer to keep instead of telling.


somes need time for self
even once a year
need some space.
need some time.
need some rest.
disappear? no.


if only silent can heal everything
then, why not?



Thursday, February 11, 2016

growing up is complicated

hye dude. assalamualaikum. lama tak update kan? but who cares? no one~ no one~ *bunyik lagu Alicia Keys. lol


have you ever think, what you do now is not what you want? mengada ek perasaan ni. tak suka tau. TAPI thats what I feel right now. feel boring to proceed things that I'm not into it. ala-ala "kerana terpaksa aku relakan?" hah gitteww.


it was like kalau kau amik kapak dan belah dada aku memang kau tak nampak pun Sains di situ. yang ada cuma Art, Design, Business, Words.


aku pernah baca satu quotes ni, it says :
"nothing is worth, if you are not happy"


terus aku rasa sedih dan sayu sebab tak fight for my dreams. I let everyone decide everything for me. that time maybe I was too young too dumb to realize. too much things I wanna try, I love to try new thing, I've found everything interesting. so, everyone be like, "kau tengok tu, nak tu. kang tengok benda lain, suka yang tu pulak." hmmm


shit. just shit. it just a BIG BIG mistake from my past. theres no more use of running, this is something i've gotta face~ sabar la nok. sikitt lagi. sikit lagi.