Sunday, January 29, 2017

Ko dengan dia bila pulak?

Saspen tajuk harini. Musim member kahwin ni pelik-pelik je soklan semua..hmm
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"Ting tong" whatsapp masuk.
Mbr lama: so Dila dah. Ko dengan dia bila lagi?
Aku: *tak reply*

Aku telan air liur je mampu. Tak tahu nak jawab apa. Its complicated. Everything seems hanging. We're lost contact since two years ago. Tapi tak gaduh. It just..awkward..boleh je nak jadi friend..tapi..tah laa. Dan segala pertanyaan orang sekeliling yg relate to both of us pun dibiar terbang berlalu sayup2 je tanpa jawapan. Phewww *bunyik daun terbang*.

Apa yang pasti sekarang dua2 tengah sibuk create future masing2. Ok..tapi..tipu lah kalau aku cakap takda try nak kenal2 dengan orang lain (ala aku rasa dia pun macam tu haha).. Tapi dah takda feeling nak buat macam mana..it just you know..it's not that easy to forget an only person that open up your heart...

Fall in love when you're ready, not when you're lonely. (Anis, 2016)

Aku senanya tak nak asal boleh je pick sesapa jadi fake boyfriend just because to show everyone yg "Aku da move on ok. Tengok dah ada replacement baru dah". Whattt?? Are you kidding? Kesian gila mamat tu tak baik wehh. Aku hargai manusia2 gentle ni, kadang2 memang baik orangnya dan suci juga niatnya. But, no mannn. You deserve someone better that love you more than you do out there. InsyaAllah. It just maybe I'm not that person, tu je. Hmm. Kalau mmg aku takda perasaan memang direct je aku cakap. Kalau aku suka pun aku cakap. Kalau aku suka as kawan pun aku cakap. Kalau taknak kawan langsung pun aku cakap. Aku Jenis tak simpan lama benda2 gini, tak reti nak simpan buat orang pening kepala je. Lol

Kalau aku rasa tak selesa, too boring too handle ke takda chemisty langsung ke cane. Memang aku bagi hint untuk jauhkan diri terus. Rasa macam xleh go langsung, not even as a friend ke, pet bro ke, bff ke. As "kenalan" macam friends list melambak tah sapa2 kat fb tu mungkin boleh. Hahaha jahat pulak bunyik. Tapi seriusla? Betulkan aku cakap? Kang melayann semua kang ada yg berharap kan dosa main2 kan hati orang..

For now just focus in future and family. I try hard facing lot of new people, new environment, new place, new life...it feels incomplete without him but good for growing up. It was hurt at first but my heart grow bigger. There's nothing to hate or regret, thank God for let me borrow him for a while years ago. Lagipun banyak benda nak buat utk balas sikit2 jasa parents ni. And ilmu agama, hidup dan kualiti diri pun parat2 hidung lagi. There's a lotsa things to explore and learn dude.

Dulu aku pernah dengar ceramah ustaz ni cakap, "kita kalau selalu ingat mati, semua yg kat dunia ni kita nampak kecik je". Soal siapa dan bila ni biarlah Allah yg tentukan, sesungguhnya Dia maha mengetahui. Let it flow with situation!! Maybe time will heal everything and show everything.

So conclusion dia. Ada jodoh, ada. Takda jodoh pun takpa. Dah besar nak gaduh berebut tarik rambut padia..redha je lah nak oi. Apa-apa pun doakan yg terbaik k. In Allah we trust. Yeahhh! Allahuakbar.

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